


Hesitate

by writingformadderton



Category: Rocketman (2019)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Platonic Cuddling, Singing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:49:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26790136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingformadderton/pseuds/writingformadderton
Summary: Richard takes a trip to his past, which leaves him panicked and Taron is the only one he opens up to. Only shortly after that Taron gets hurt by his father and Richard is the only one who can cheer him up. They realize how important they are for each other and Richard decides to open up about his feelings with some help from Sophie and Joe.
Relationships: Joe Jonas/Sophie Turner, Taron Egerton/Richard Madden
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Hesitate

Richard plays with the remote control in his hand and chews on his lower lip. His mind is racing, questioning if he really should do this right now. It was dangerous to do such a thing now, at nine pm. If this went wrong, he would be up the whole night.

But if this all went well, he would be able to cope with this properly after all these years. He would be able to forget it.

Rich lets out a long breath and leans back in the sofa trying to sort his thoughts. “Just fucking do it,” He tells himself and growls softly. His eyes settle back on the screen and he takes a deep breath.

A few days ago, he suddenly had this brilliant idea how to tackle his childhood trauma. He could just watch the movie with what it all started. Maybe that would help him, knowing this little child wasn’t him anymore. Knowing he made it through filming this scene of abuse, made it through the bullying of his classmates. He made it.

But, actually doing it isn’t as easy as he thought it would be. Would it really help or make everything worse? If he fucked this up, he would be on his own, his best friend was filming abroad, who would be the only one he opens up to.

Richard sinks deeper into the sofa and stares at the screen. He doesn’t want to see it, but he can’t drag his eyes away from it. “Fuck,” he whispers and holds the pillow in his arms tighter. This was torture but he promised himself to watch it. To try and get through it. Otherwise he would try again. He feels panic taking over and takes a deep breath closing his eyes. Come on, focus. When he opens his eyes again, trying to blend out the sounds, tears are blurring his sight. He blinks them away and sees himself, knowing it is acted, but it kills him to watch it. Richard gags and shakes himself. “Come on..” he groans and forces himself to look back at the screen.

When the scene is done, hot tears are streaming down his face and fumbles for the remote wanting to turn it off. When he doesn’t find it he feels a new wave of panic taking over and he whines softly. Richard finally finds it and turns the TV off falling back onto the sofa and buries his face in his hands. He shouldn’t have done that. He shouldn’t have watched it. He shouldn’t have put himself through this.

Suddenly his doorbell rings and he flinches hard in fear, his heart racing. Richard pushes himself up and walks to his door slowly and quietly wiping his cheeks clean and taking a deep breath. He opens the door and frowns when he sees him.

“Surpri- Holy shit, mate, are you okay?!” Taron asks worried and watches him observantly.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, confused.

“I came home earlier, wanted to surprise you and come over,” Taron says and Richard nods. “What’s wrong?” he asks. Richard shakes his head tiredly and feels the tears welling up in his eyes again. He stares down on his feet as the tears fall down his cheeks and sniffs helpless. “Hey, Richie,” T says softly and puts the pizza he brought on the floor before cupping his face. “Hey, what’s going on?”

The softness in his best friend’s voice breaks his heart a little, not thinking he deserves it. His hands, warm from holding the pizza, pull him back into reality. “I just did something stupid.” he admits chocked up.

“What happened?” he asks carefully and lets his eyes wander all over his best friend. Looking into his eyes he can see something beside the sadness and that was panic. Pure panic. What the hell happened? “You’re having a panic attack?”

“Maybe,” he gets out with a shaking voice, laced in emotions. “I-Taron, I fucked everything up. I-I thought it would make everything better, b-but it didn’t a-and-” his voice cracks and he shuts his mouth, his body shaking with sobs.

Taron leans down and grabs the abandoned pizza. “Okay, let’s go inside, come on.” He grabs Richard’s hand and pulls him inside, closing the door and throwing the pizza onto the kitchen table. This could wait. He turns to his best friend and pulls him into a safe hug.

Richard clings onto Taron and buries his face in his shoulder trying to get himself together. How stupid must he look like, crying that heavy? But now that Taron is here and he doesn’t have to be alone with it only makes him cry harder, feeling his defenses breaking down.

Taron rocks them softly from side to side and his hand rests on the back of Richard’s head, fondling over his curls. He knows he’ll have to let him calm down and let everything out before talking about what happened. The sobs leaving Richard’s mouth are tightening his throat and he swallows hard. There was no time to get emotional, he has to be here for him and be fully focused on him. After a while Richard gets calmer in his arms and Taron’s hand wanders down, rubbing his back smoothly. “You wanna tell me about it?” he asks low voiced and Rich just shrugs his shoulders. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want. But no matter what it is, I’ll still love you, mate.”

Rich smiles weakly at that and holds him tighter for a moment. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” Taron assures him and pulls back a bit. “Wanna sit down on the sofa a bit?” Rich nods slowly and looks down at the floor again. T offers him his hand and Richard takes it. Taron squeezes it and fondles over his knuckles as he walks them to the sofa. He lets Rich sit down and gets some blankets from the armchair. He wraps one around Richard’s shoulders and one covers his feet. “I’ll be here in a minute,” he says and plants a soft kiss into his hair.

Richard pulls the blanket closer around himself and shivers slightly as he is alone again. He would get through it, it wouldn’t get worse. Right? Closing his eyes he takes deep breaths and listens to his body. His heart was still racing, his mind was messed up, the scene was replaying in front of his eyes. He doesn’t hear Taron coming back, just feels himself wrapped up in his arms suddenly. Rich buries his face in his chest and wraps his arms around him.

“You wanna eat something before talking?” T asks suggesting and Richard nods, knowing he should. If he didn’t eat now, he doesn’t know when he would the next time. Taron disappears shortly again and comes back with the warmed-up pizza and two plates.

They eat in a comfortable silence and Richard feels himself calming down. Taron’s mind is racing, thinking about what could have happened that made him so upset. And then Richard opens up about his idea and what it did to him. He talks about how insecure he still is because of everything that happened in his childhood. Taron just listens and holds his hand throughout the process, giving him time to open up and tell him everything. He knew about the insecurity but he didn’t knew it was still that present.

“I’m just- I don’t know what I was thinking, I really don’t know,” he says and looks down at his lap for his moment. “I just don’t wanna feel like shit anymore. I don’t wanna get up and think about all the things I could do wrong, about all the stuff I don’t like about myself. I’m so tired of it, T.”

Taron nods slowly and waits for Richard to continue. When he doesn’t, he takes a deep breath and sits closer to him. “I know this shit that happened still is in your head and it’s okay that you struggle with it. No one expects you to forget it and pretend it never happened.” he squeezes his hand lovingly. “Mate, you’re brilliant, okay? You are an awesome friend, you’re funny, you’re sweet, you’re so talented and all your fans are a living proof of how handsome you are,” he winks at him and makes him laugh softly. “I know you’re struggling with all of this and you’re having some serious self-doubts,” Taron smiles at him softly and rubs his shoulder. “But you’re perfect as you are, Richie. And nothing will change that. You’re so strong for going out there in a world where’s so much hate and being able to have fun. Seriously, you’re so damn strong, mate.”

Rich just shakes his head and smiles a little. “Not really, but thanks.”

“Don’t talk yourself down, Richie. You are,” Taron insists and squeezes his hand again. “And what you did wasn’t stupid, it was brave. It didn’t work out as you wanted it to do, but you tried and that’s what counts.”

“I really don’t know what I would do without you sometimes,“ Rich breathes out and smiles at him softly.

“Oh stop it,” T giggles softly and plays with his hair lovingly. They look at each other for a moment and sink into each other’s eyes. Something changed between them the last few times they’ve seen each other. But both weren’t quite sure about what it was and if it was just one sided. Taron clears his throat and inhales a deep breath. “You want me to stay tonight?”

“You don’t have to, mate. You just came back home and must be exhausted,” Richard says and smiles at him assuring.

“Your bed is big enough for both of us,” Taron grins and Rich just chuckles. They spent enough drunk nights in there to know that. “I really don’t wanna leave you on your own at the moment. And we haven’t seen each other for a while.”

“Okay then,” Rich says and nods smiling. “But I really don’t wanna burden you with it.”

“Richie, it’s okay. I’m here and I’ll be by your side through all of this,” Taron assures him and leans forward fondling over his cheek. “I promise, mate, it’s okay.”

-

A little while later Richard is cuddled up in Taron’s arms underneath the blanket and has his face buried in his chest again. They love this kind of intimacy, it comforts them and makes them even closer. Taron is fondling over his head, playing with his hair. “Thank you for staying,” he mumbles into his chest.

“Not a problem at all,” T assures him and plants a soft kiss into his hair. “Now try and get some sleep. Love you, mate.”

“Love you too,” Rich answers and closes his eyes. It feels good to be in Taron’s arms, feeling him. He would wake up having his sweet scent right in front of him which would assure him he wasn’t alone.

-

A week later Richard has to give some interviews and his anxiety level is high. He’s pacing the room and didn’t eat some breakfast. Playing with his hands he tries to avoid seeing himself in a mirror, not wanting to change his outfit for another time.

The first interview is exhausting and he keeps on shifting on his seat, plays with his hands, is obviously nervous. When it’s done he steps out of the room and looks down at his watch. Twenty minutes to the next one that could either be a break or a time for nervousness.

“Breathe, mate.” he suddenly hears and looks up confused.

“Taron!” he quickly falls into his arms and holds him tight. “What are you doing here?”

“I thought I’ll check on you. I know how nervous this shit makes you,” he giggles softly and rubs his back smoothly. “How long do you have?”

“Twenty minutes.”

“Well then let’s go,” Taron grabs his hand and pulls him with him. They step outside and Taron doesn’t let go of his hand, neither does Richard. They know there would be headlines, again. But they didn’t care. It was their intimate friendship and they wouldn’t hide the love they had for each other. “I bet you didn’t eat this morning.”

“Not really,” he admits a bit embarrassed.

Taron opens the backdoor of his car and gets in pulling Rich with him. Richard closes the door and watches him curiously. “Well I thought so and you definitely need some food. So I decided to make some bacon and eggs at home and take it with me.”

Rich chuckles softly as Taron takes out a lunchbox filled with it and the smell fills the car, making his stomach growl. “You’re the best.”

Taron hands him a fork and grins at him before digging his own into the warm food. “I hope it doesn’t taste like shit, I did this half awake,” he giggles.

Rich chuckles and assures him it’s good. He feels himself relaxing having Taron around him and enjoys the belated breakfast.

When they’re done they have ten minutes left and Taron packs the stuff away, pulling him into a hug. “Come here,” he says and Rich leans against him. Taron plays with his hair and looks down at him. "Just keep on breathing deep and remember it’s just an interview. You’ll do great.”

“I’ll try my best,” Rich promises.

“Here. Let’s go inside,” he hands him a toothbrush and a toothpaste and winks at him.

“You really thought of everything,” Rich chuckles.

-

Three months later Richard’s phone rings through the make-up trailer and he excuses himself seeing it’s Taron. He quickly steps outside and takes the call. “Hey, T, how are you?”

“I’m… I’m okay,” he says and rubs his face.

“What’s wrong?” Rich asks irritated by the slight shaking in his voice which was only audible to people who knew him very well.

“I just feel like shit right now,” he sniffs softly and stares down at his knees.

“Where are you?” he asks worried and gets inside packing his stuff. He signals his stylist he has to go, who leaves to inform the rest.

“Airport.”

Richard frowns a little and then he remembers Taron had been in Wales the last couple of days. “What happened?” he asks softly.

But Taron just sniffs again and bites his lower lip. “Can you please come and get me?” he asks and now his voice is shaking hard.

“Already on my way.” Richard says and starts the car.

-

He finds Taron at the parking place and quickly gets out. Richard grabs his suitcase and throws it in the back of his car. Then he grabs Taron’s hand and softly pulls him to the left side of his car, letting him get in. Richard gets in as well and looks over at him. “Please tell me you’re okay and it’s mentally.”

Taron looks at him for a short moment before nodding. “I’m physically okay, don’t worry.”

Richard places his hand on his thigh and fondles over it calming. “You wanna tell me what happened?” he asks carefully, not wanting to push him into something he doesn’t want to.

Taron nods slowly and starts telling him about the time he spent with his mum, stepdad and sisters and how good it was for him. He was happy, got new energy and felt good.

They get out of the car at this point and Rich grabs his suitcase letting him open the door to his apartment. He steps into Taron’s home and puts the suitcase aside, getting rid of his jacket and shoes. When he looks at Taron he sees the silent tears falling down his face and feels his heart wrenching at that sight. “Hey, Taron,” he says softly and takes a step closer. A sob leaves Taron’s mouth and that’s all it takes for him to wrap him into a loving hug. “It’s okay, let it out,” he encourages him and holds him close. After a little while he leans down a bit and picks Taron up who instinctively wraps his legs around his waist. He carries them into the living room and sits down on the armchair, Taron on his lap, and grabs a blanket, wrapping it around T.

Taron cuddles into him crying and knows Richard’s near is all he needs now. “I’m sorry. I - I just really needed you,” he admits through his sobs.

“Shh, it’s okay, I’m here now,” he assures him and rubs his back smoothly.

Taron pulls back after a few minutes, his eyes red and puffy, tears all over his face, a running nose. Richard grabs a tissue and cups his face, wiping away the tears with his thumbs. T takes the tissue and blows his nose before looking down at his lap. “I met my dad on the last day,” he starts.

“Oh,” Rich says and can imagine this wasn’t easy. It never has been easy for Taron to stay in contact with the man who left him and his mother when he was only a little child.

“Yeah it was a stupid idea, but I hadn’t seen him in a while,” he states and scratches his neck. “Well when I got there the first thing he did was telling me that I barely come and visit him. I mean I know that and I know I spend more time with my mum but seriously I spend more time with him than he did when I grew up,” he says and chews on his lower lip. “And then after a while talking he suddenly says I changed in a bad way. I would think too much of my work, I got self-centered and I would forget about the people that are my family.”

Richard frowns at that. Taron always talks about his family and his home and how much he enjoys being with them. He never made it a secret and brought it up in interviews as well. And Taron was always checking up on others and not self-centered at all. “I hope you know that isn’t true?”

Taron shrugs his shoulders. “It caught me by surprise and it hurts,” he admits.

“You’re definitely not self-centered and seriously, I can’t name a person who talks more lovingly about his family on the red carpet than you do. You didn’t forget them and well of course you think of your work because it’s stressful and separates you from your family and friends often,” he explains and Taron nods slowly. “I’m so sorry he did that, it clearly isn’t that way, bubs. You’re amazingly sweet with your family all the time.”

“But he’s right, all of this did change me,” T whines a little.

“Taron. He left you when you were six. He wasn’t there when you went through puberty, grew up, moved out, build up your career. Of course you changed in his eyes and of course you aren’t the little boy agreeing with everything he says anymore,” Richard says and fondles over his hair. “We all change from age six to 30.”

“I just feel like shit about it. I went there and had hopes it would be fun, but well he had other plans it seems,” he huffs out, frustrated.

“You’re amazing as you are and no one, not even your stubborn dad, can change that,” Rich assures him and plants a kiss on his temple before Taron sinks back into his arms, curling up on his lap.

“Thank you for picking me up,” T mumbles.

“Sure thing.”

\- 

It isn’t that easy to make Taron happy again. The comments of his father hurt him bad and Richard sees the tears in his eyes whenever he thinks of it. He sees the way Taron tries to hide it, tries to pretend he’s okay. When he rings Taron’s doorbell today he has to wait a while until T opens the door. Richard only needs a short look to see he’s not doing good. “Wanna have some alone time?” he asks carefully, knowing sometimes T needed to be on his own.

Taron shakes his head. “I need you,” he admits quietly and avoids eye contact.

“Okay,” Richard nods and steps closer.

“Sorry for this mess. I didn’t want to drag you into my misery again,” T mumbles embarrassed.

Richard leans down a bit lifting his head with his fingers and looks into blueish green eyes full of tears. “Don’t,” he says and fondles over his cheek. “I’m always here for you and you should never apologize for needing me. That’s my job as your friend and I like to be here for you.”

“Thank you,” Taron presses out and a tear rolls down his cheek.

Rich catches the tear with his thumb and smiles at him compassionately. “Some cuddles sound good?” he asks and Taron nods letting him inside. His heart wrenches seeing Taron standing there looking like a little child, soft and vulnerable. “Come here, luv.”

Taron steps closer to him and sinks into his embrace. Silent tears run down his face and he wonders about himself. Why the hell did he still have tears left to cry? And why the hell did this make him more upset than Rich with his childhood trauma?

They decide to lie down in Taron’s bed and Taron cuddles up into Richard, just like Rich did when he stayed with him a while ago. He can feel Richard’s fingers running through his hair and massaging his scalp lovingly, while his other arm is wrapped around his waist, rubbing tiny circles on his lower back.

“You’re thinking about what happened again?” Rich asks after a while.

“Yeah, it happened suddenly. I don’t know why,” Taron admits and pulls back a bit.

“Yeah, I know how that feels like,” Rich says and looks at him, deep blue meeting bright green. He loved Taron’s eye color even more when he cried. His green iris seemed to stand out more against the pinkish whites of his eyes.

Taron looks at him remaining silent for a moment and chews on his lower lip. “How do you cope with it? Not slipping back into it over and over again?”

“I don’t,” Rich says and sees Taron’s confused look. He chuckles softly and continues fondling over his hair. “I’m…not really good at it. Let it put me that way. I just try not to think of it until something triggers it which usually leads to me pushing it aside. After a few times of doing that it hits me full force and it sends me into panic.”

“Sounds like shit,” T groans and both laugh at that. “But what steadies you in those moments? When you push it aside, I mean.” he asks curiously.

Richard remains quiet for a moment and thinks about it. “It depends on whom I’m with. When I’m with my mum for example, I’m pushing it away because I don’t wanna worry her with it. Being on set I focus on all the stuff going on around me. And being with you…” he stops talking and knows he should say something.

“Yeah?” he asks and suddenly is painfully aware of how close their faces are. It feels like he’s surrounded by a bubble, Richard’s cologne, his hand on his lower back, his body pressed against his own. Blue eyes reading him like an open book. Damn.

“Being with you calms me down,” he admits slowly and it takes him all of his willpower not to break eye contact now. “I feel safe enough around you to not let those memories consume me.”

“Why?” he asks and suddenly aches to know why the hell he was the one who could give Richard peace.

“I- I just feel like I don’t have to explain myself all the time when I’m with you and you understand what’s going on. You know me, better than anybody else,” Richard’s movements in his hair get slower. “And you’re always so understanding and sweet when I feel like shit, I guess it just doesn’t happen when you’re with me in person.”

“Glad I can help,” Taron answers with a soft smile. He sinks into Richard’s deep blue eyes and his heart starts beating faster. “Thank you for being here,” he says.

“Sure thing,” Rich answers.

-

A few days later Taron gets a call from Richard when he’s on set. “Hey, Rich, what’s up?”

“Hey, how are you?” Richard asks and looks down at the piece of paper in front of him on the floor.

“I’m okay. How about you?” he asks and walks towards his trailer. It’s a low fall afternoon and the frosty air is blowing into his face making him shiver.

“I’m good. Listen, I know you could use some fun. Sophie called me and invited me to dinner with her and Joe, she said I could take someone with me and I thought of you,” Richard explains and leans against the sofa behind him. “We’d go to a little pub and avoid the public shit.”

“Today?” Taron asks and opens the door to his trailer.

“Yeah, I could pick you up at 7?”

“Okay, yeah sure. I haven’t seen them in a while as well,” T agrees with a smile on his lips. That could be fun and meant some time with Rich. Perfect.

-

Richard rings the doorbell of Taron’s apartment and takes a step back. It doesn’t take long and T opens the door with a welcoming smile on his face. “Hey,” he says and pulls him into a warm hug.

Richard holds him tight for a moment and smiles. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah,” he grabs his jacket and keys and follows Richard outside after locking the door. As they reach the car Taron stops him and plants a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you. I really needed some company today.”

“Glad I can help,” he winks at him and they get in the car.

-

Sophie and Joe are already there and greet them lovingly. It was always fun with those two and Rich. Taron feels his mind calming down and everything else that bothered him over the last couple of days suddenly doesn’t seem important anymore. Taron sits between Richard and Joe at the round table, Sophie is opposite of him.

“Oh, we wanted to share something with you,” Sophie says with a smile and grabs Joe’s hand.

Richard looks up from his drink and watches them curiously. “The last time you did that you got married.”

“Then it’s a child now,” Taron guesses and Rich chuckles. Joe grins and Sophie has a big smile on her face. “Wait am I right?” Taron asks with a bright smile written all over his face.

“Yeah, we’re gonna have a baby,” Joe agrees happily and squeezes Sophie’s hand looking at her.

“Aww I’m so happy for you two!” Rich says and beams at his friend. “You’re gonna be such amazing parents.”

“Well and our baby will meet our amazing friends,” Joe says and winks at T.

Taron smiles softly and watches the happy couple in front of him. “I’m curious if your baby will be talented like their mum or more like their dad.”

“Maybe it’s a mix,” Rich suggests. “Like you,” he grins and Taron blushes.

“Shut up,” T mumbles grinning and tries to hide his blushing cheeks.

“Oh no, Rich is right, mate,” Joe grins and Sophie chuckles when Taron buries his face in his hands embarrassed.

“Stop it you guys,” he whines and giggles softly when Richard wraps his arm around him and pulls him close laughing. Taron looks up and smirks at him, a interaction that doesn’t go unrecognized by their friends who exchange a knowing look.

They enjoy their food and fool around and it clearly becomes obvious to Sophie and Joe how close their friends became. They always had a strong bond and intimate friendship but the expression in their eyes changed, their looks were full of love and adoration for each other. The short touches got permanent and they basically sat close to each other, no space between them. Sophie was convinced now that this wasn’t only one sided and showed her friend a thumbs up under the table who smiled relieved at that.

Joe exchanges a look with Richard and then the acting starts. “Richard, you remember when you promised me once you’d sing with me when I’d knock Sophie up?”

“What?!” Richard asks shocked and Taron chokes on his drink laughing.

“That’s what you said,” Sophie protests laughing and Joe starts laughing. “You two were shit drunk and you said that, love!”

“Ohhh right,” he remembers and laughs loudly now. “Sorry mate.”

“God, Joe!” Rich groans and laughs. “So what are you up to?”

“Wanna sing a song with me?” he asks and winks at him.

“No, god, please don’t,” he whines and Sophie grins. Sometimes it was quite useful to be an actor.

“Oh come on, mate. I know you have a beautiful voice!”

“That’s true,” Taron smirks mischievously and watches Richard who looks like he wants to disappear immediately.

“Go, Rich!” Sophie cheers and Taron joins her. Joe gets up and pulls Richard with him. Taron sits next to Sophie now, watching his best friend following Joe on the little stage. T looks around and suddenly realizes they are the only one’s in the pub, wondering if that’s just a weird coincidence.

Richard looks at Joe and nods as he looks at him questioning. He takes a deep breath and focuses on the guitar in his hands, playing the first cords of Hesitate. It has always been Joe’s favorite, thinking of his wife Sophie whenever he was performing it. And somehow the lyrics fit for T and Rich, their friendship and the things they went through together.

“Kiss the tears right of your face, won’t be scared, that’s the old, old, old me,” Joe starts singing and Sophie focuses on her husband with a smile on her lips. “I’ll be there time and place, lay it on me, all you’re hold, hold, holding.”

Richard takes a deep breath, steadying himself and starts the next line. “Time, time only heals if we work through it now and I promise we’ll figure this out.” he feels relief swapping over him as his voice doesn’t crack. “I will take our pain and put it on my heart.”

“I won’t hesitate, just tell me where to start,” Joe continues and smirks at Sophie. “I thank the oceans for giving me you.”

“You saved me once and now I’ll save you too,” Richard’s eyes meet Taron’s, seeing the dreamy look in them and how he mouths the words along his singing. God, he loved this boy. And oh how this line fit for them the last couple of times they were together. “I won’t hesitate for you.”

Taron watches Richard and listens to his smooth calming voice. He always loved hearing it, especially when he was singing. There was something about it that calmed him down, made him feel safe. It remembered him at the time they got to know each other, singing together in the studio.

Sophie glances at T and sees how focused he is on Richard. There was an adoration in his eyes that she had seen in Richard’s when he was looking at Taron. Hopefully their plan would work. “They sound amazing together,” she smiles as they start the chorus together.

“They do,” Taron admits and looks at Sophie. “I love it when he sings, he just hates it,” Sophie smirks at that and nods.

“Pull me close and I’ll hold you tight, don’t be scared ‘cause I’m on your side. Know there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you,” Richard sings and Taron’s heart warms as he meets his look. Joe repeats the lines and Rich joins in on the chorus again.

Sophie looks at Taron and decides to take a step further. “Just to come back to you saying he hates it,” she says and Taron looks at her questioning. “He doesn’t do that for everyone,” she ads softly and T looks at her remaining silent for a moment.

“Is he in love with me?” he asks timidly and chews on his lower lip. “Because I don’t wanna fall even harder for someone who won’t return my feelings.” he says and let’s out a shuddery breath. Sophie was the first person he opened up to about it. The first person who knew about his feelings for Richard that grew stronger the more time he spent with him.

“What do you think?” Sophie asks and raises her eyebrow. “Just talk to him, mate.” She looks into Taron’s blueish-green eyes, a hint of anxiety in them, and smiles, grabbing his hand. “It’ll be okay. I promise.”

Richard and Joe end their performance and T and Sophie start cheering and clapping. They come back to the table and Taron watches him closely. Could he really feel the same?

-

The rest of the evening happens in a blur for both Taron and Richard, anxiety and nervousness settling in their bodies. When they leave the pub Taron feels sick, he doesn’t want to confess his feelings and get his heart broken. He was unstable enough and he doesn’t want to lose Rich.

Richard starts the car and his grip around the steering wheel gets tight. Did Taron realize why they picked this song? Did he mess everything up now? His stomach turns and he feels sick, he couldn’t lose Taron.

“Thank you for taking me with you tonight,” Taron breaks the silence, trying to start a normal conversation.

“Not a problem at all. I’m glad you said yes,” he admits and sets the blinking lights as they wait a red-light. He clears his throat and opens his mouth, wanting to explain himself, saying something, but nothing comes out and so he closes his mouth again.

“You definitely still have a beautiful voice,” he says and smiles softly.

“Ugh, stop it,” Rich growls and shakes his head. “I’m just glad that my voice didn’t break or made a fool of me.”

Taron chews on his lower lip and glances at him. “Richard, I have to tell you something and I don’t want things to get weird between us when I do,” he starts and Richard nods slowly parking the car in front of Taron’s apartment, that isn’t far away from the pub. Taron plays with his hands nervously and swallows hard. “I don’t wanna lose you, okay? Because I need you.”

Richard frowns a bit at that. What the hell was he talking about now? He reaches out for Taron’s hand and turns to him in his seat. “You won’t lose me.”

“You don’t know that,” Taron laughs weakly and looks up at him timidly.

“Yes, I do. Because I need you too,” he speaks and searches Taron’s face for something that will tell him what’s going on in his head.

Taron avoids eye contact again and feels tears burning in his eyes, fear taking over, as he finally speaks what’s on his mind. “I love you. And I don’t mean it the way I said it a hundred times before.”

Richard lets out a shuddery breath and places his fingers underneath his chin and lifts up his head. “Yeah, I know how that feels like,” he says and makes Taron giggle softly, both remembering their talk a few days ago. “I love you too, T.”

Taron smiles softly and his eyes shine with tears. “Yeah?”

Rich just smiles and grabs his neck pulling him close. As their lips barely touch, noses nudging against each other, he searches Taron’s agreement in his eyes. T closes his eyes and cups his face, Richard’s connects their lips to a shy but sweet kiss.

Taron pulls back slowly, opening his eyes, and strokes over Richard’s cheeks with his thumbs, feeling the stubble underneath his palms. “You’re really cheesy, you know that? Trying to get me with a song,” he giggles softly.

“Seems like it worked, right?” he winks at him and his blue eyes shine brightly. “Wanna stay with me tonight?” he asks and plays with Taron’s hair.

“Absolutely,” Taron answers smiling and places another kiss onto his lips.


End file.
